Week Two Reflection

As we head into the third week, I am still struggling with my personal life and school life joining together in this world religions class. Although I am enjoying it more than I thought, the spiritual practices I have chosen, have forced me to reflect on things I have kept away.

But as the assignment goes here's where I'm at:

meditation-

The time alone reflecting in on myself, has left me feeling lonely. I sit and I stare at myself and I ask, "why did I let it get to this?" I do believe everything happens for a reason. but we are also in charge of our destinies, so how and why did I let my life get to a point where I feel lost again?

prayer-

Prayer time these last couple of weeks have taken place in the shower or late night when I cant sleep. I know the thing I am talking to God about are slightly selfish but if he can't listen, then who can? I find myself just asking to be able to be strong. I don't want to go back to the person I was. I rarely regret but who I am now is not who I was before and I still have a long journey to become the person I want to be.

Now what? I have emotions I haven't felt in a very long time lingering inside. I find that my confidence has changed, maybe has hidden. But yet, everyone still thinks I am normal. I just hope I can figure this out before I start retreating away from everyone.